Tehillim at the Grave: Which Psalms Are Said and Why

When Jews visit the grave of a parent or loved one, the heart of the visit is Tehillim. The Psalms of David give words to what the mourner feels, and their recitation is a merit for the soul of the departed. This guide explains which chapters are customarily said, why Psalm 119 is read according to the letters of the name, and how families who live far from Jerusalem can have Tehillim said at the grave on their behalf.

Which Psalms Are Customarily Said at a Grave?

Many siddurim and memorial booklets print a standard selection of Tehillim for a visit to the cemetery. Customs differ between communities, but the chapters most commonly included are:

• Psalm 33 – “Sing joyfully to Hashem, you righteous”
• Psalm 16 – “Guard me, O G-d, for I have taken refuge in You”
• Psalm 17 – “A prayer of David”
• Psalm 72 – “Of Solomon: O G-d, give Your judgments to the king”
• Psalm 91 – “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High”
• Psalm 104 – “Bless Hashem, O my soul”
• Psalm 130 – “A song of ascents: From the depths I call to You”

Some communities add further chapters, and many families simply follow the booklet used by their own shul or chevra kadisha. When in doubt, ask your rav which selection your family follows.

Psalm 119 by the Letters of the Name

Psalm 119 is arranged as an alphabetical acrostic: twenty-two sections of eight verses each, one section for every letter of the Hebrew alphabet. It is a widespread custom to read the sections that spell out the Hebrew name of the departed, followed by the sections for the letters of the word neshamah (נשמה, “soul”). In this way the Tehillim themselves “spell” the name of the person being remembered.

You can prepare this personal reading yourself with our free Tehillim by Name tool: enter the Hebrew name of the departed and of his or her father or mother, and the tool arranges the opening Psalms, the sections of Psalm 119 for each letter, and the closing prayers, ready to print or read on your phone.

Kaddish and El Malei Rachamim

After Tehillim, the visit usually continues with El Malei Rachamim, the memorial prayer asking that the soul find rest under the wings of the Divine Presence, and with Kaddish. Kaddish may only be recited in the presence of a minyan of ten men. This is why families often find that a graveside visit without a minyan feels incomplete, and why many arrange for a minyan to be present on the yahrzeit, at the end of the shloshim or at the end of the first year.

When You Cannot Be at the Grave Yourself

Many families in America, England, Australia, Antwerp and elsewhere have parents and grandparents buried in Jerusalem, at Har HaZeitim, Har HaMenuchot or Sanhedria. Travelling to Israel for every yahrzeit is rarely possible. Our minyan of yeshiva students goes to the grave in your place: they recite Tehillim by the letters of the name, El Malei Rachamim and Kaddish, light a candle, and send you photos and video by WhatsApp so that you can join from wherever you are.

Read how families abroad arrange Kaddish at a grave in Jerusalem, or see our graveside packages. We recommend contacting us at least 48 hours before the date.

Customs regarding cemetery visits and the order of prayers vary between communities. This article is a general guide; for questions of practice, please consult your rav.