How to Find the Hebrew Name of a Departed Parent or Grandparent

Almost every memorial practice — El Malei Rachamim, Tehillim by the letters of the name, Mishnayot l’ilui nishmat, an aliyah on the yahrzeit — uses the Hebrew name of the departed. Many families abroad, especially a generation or two removed, are not sure what that name was. Here is where to look.

What You Need

• The Hebrew first name (and any second name) of the departed, for example Moshe Yaakov
• The Hebrew name of their father, used in the form “Moshe Yaakov ben Avraham”
• The Hebrew date of passing, for the yahrzeit (see how to find the yahrzeit date)

Where to Look

The headstone

The matzeiva almost always carries the Hebrew name, the father’s name and the Hebrew date of passing. If the grave is in Jerusalem and you have no photo, we can photograph the stone for you during a visit.

Family documents

A ketubah lists the Hebrew names of the groom and his father. Bar mitzvah certificates, a bris certificate, and inscriptions in a family siddur or Chumash are also good sources.

The shul and the chevra kadisha

Synagogues often keep yahrzeit lists and memorial plaques with Hebrew names and dates. The chevra kadisha that handled the burial keeps records of the name and father’s name. In Jerusalem, each burial society on Har HaMenuchot and the other cemeteries keeps its own records.

Relatives and the officiating rav

Older relatives, siblings and the rav who officiated at the funeral may well remember the name, or know where it is recorded.

If the Name Cannot Be Found

Sometimes no Hebrew name was ever given, or the father’s name is not known. There are accepted ways to handle this — for a convert, for example, the custom is to say “ben Avraham Avinu” — but each case is different, so ask your rav how to name the departed in prayer.

Sending the Name to Us

When you arrange a visit, send the Hebrew name exactly as you have it, in Hebrew letters if possible, together with the father’s name and the date of passing. You can also generate the verses of Psalm 119 for that name with our free Tehillim by Name tool.

Arrange a Minyan at the Grave

If you live abroad and cannot be in Jerusalem, our team of yeshiva students can be there for you: a full minyan at the grave, Tehillim by the letters of the name, Kaddish and El Malei Rachamim, with photos and video sent to you on WhatsApp. See our services or message us on WhatsApp to arrange a visit.